i post things of my everyday life or whats on my mind or my heart. dont judge haha
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They say that you compare your first love after you heart was broken by them or something along those lines. well i don’t truly believe that, i mean i had an ex shatter me for the longest time and yes i compared plenty of guys to him
. but there is someone who means so much more to me than him…and i do love him more than anyone. im 22 years old and i finally understand what love for another really is. its when you miss that person deeply, and you just want that person for yourself. also the fact that you don’t care about the persons looks(but to me he is the sexiest) or the way the smell(even though i like his b.o) or his smile and little smirks. its just those sort of things and the way he touches me on my arm, legs, and hands. even licking my forehead or face haha. all the things he does and treats me makes me love him that much more.
he doesnt understand why i like those things about him, and thinks he isnt great looking or whatever but to me he is amazing and i dont want to lose my chance…but then i think well he is 19 and has so much more to live for then getting into a relationship with a person like me and who has someone elses child…and i know that is stupid to think, but he deserves to find someone who can give him the things that i cant give him…if that makes any sense. but with that being said when he dates girls i am happy for him and i dont want to be the reason for ruining his happiness. because honestly i dont think he would be happy with me…so thats another reason that i know its love. even if you cant be with the person in a relationship doesnt mean you have to stop loving them,
so at the end of the day i will always wish for the same thing and love the same person…